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all my thoughts, wishes, intentions and reklamos are freely floating here.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

THE CURIOUS INCIDENT OF THE DOG IN THE NIGHT TIME

Im on my way home, and its raining. and that made me here at SB near us. haha. so here i am, on my favorite spot holding my book. :)
yes.. i am reading a book. haha!!burger??? haha mamilong i know you're reacting hahaha!!  its so unusual that i got into it but i really am enjoying this piece.:) here's the book. 


it is SUBTLE, yet it's MOVING!!
Meet Christopher Boone, a 15 year old boy living in Swindon with Asperger’s syndrome. This book is being described as a murder mystery novel with a "difference." He is a bit weird, though, the character will kick up your empathy. it will really take the reader into the chaos of autism and creates a character of such empathy that many readers will begin to feel for the first time what it is like to live a life in which there are no filters to eliminate or order the millions of pieces of information that come to us through our senses every instant of the day. For the autistic person, most stimuli register with equal impact, and because these little pieces of information cannot usually be processed effectively, life becomes a very confusing mess of constantly competing signals.




SOME EXTRACTS of his QUOTABLE IDEAS: 

"My memory is like a film….And when people ask me to remember something I can simply press Rewind and Fast Forward and Pause like on a video recorder….If someone says to me, 'Christopher, tell me what your mother was like,' I can rewind to lots of different scenes and say what she was like in those scenes."

"When I am in a new place, because I see everything, it is like when a computer is doing too many things at the same time and the central processor unit is blocked up and there isn't any space left to think about other things….And sometimes when I am in a new place and there are lots of people there it is like a computer crashing and I have to close my eyes and put my hands over my ears and groan, which is like pressing CTRL + ALT + DEL and shutting down programs and turning the computer off and rebooting so that I can remember what I am doing and where I am meant to be going."


"Prime numbers are what is left when you have taken all the patterns away. I think prime numbers are like life. They are very logical but you could never work out the rules, even if you spent all your time thinking about them."
"The word metaphor means carrying something from one place to another…and it is when you describe something by using a word for something that it isn't. This means that the word metaphor is a metaphor. I think it should be called a lie because a pig is not like day and people don't have skeletons in their cupboards."
"Mother used to say that Christopher was a nice name because it was a story about being kind and helpful, but I do not want my name to mean a story…I want my name to mean me."
"...there aren't any lines in space, so you could join bits of Orion to bits of Lepus* or Taurus or Gemini and say that they were a constellation called The Bunch of Grapes or Jesus or The Bicycle...And anyway, Orion is not a hunter or a coffee maker or a dinosaur. It is just Betelguese and Bellatrix and Alnilam and Rigel an 17 other stars I don't know the names of. And they are nuclear explosions billions of miles away. And that is the truth."

"All the other children at my school are stupid. Except I'm not meant to call them stupid, even though this is what they are." 

"...people who believe in God think God has put human beings on earth because they think human beings are the best animal, but human beings are just an animal and they will evolve into another animal, and that animal will be cleverer and it will put human beings into a zoo, like we put chimpanzees and gorillas into a zoo. Or human beings will all catch a disease and die out or they will make too much pollution and kill themselves, and then there will only be insects in the world and they will be the best animal." 

"And then I thought that I had to be like Sherlock Holmes and I had to detach my mind at will to a remarkable degree so that I did not notice how much it was hurting inside my head." 

"...and there was nothing to do except to wait and to hurt." 

"I think people believe in heaven because they don't like the idea of dying, because they want to carry on living and they don't like the idea that other people will move into their house and put their things into the rubbish." 

Eventually scientists will discover something that explains ghosts, just like they discovered electricity, which explained lightning, and it might be something about people's brains, or something about the earth's magnetic field, or it might be some new force altogether. And then ghosts won't be mysteries. They will be like electricity and rainbows and nonstick frying pans." 

"I do not tell lies. Mother used to say that this was because I was a good person. But it is not because I am a good person. It is because I do not tell lie." 

"And Father said, "Christopher, do you understand that I love you?"
And I said "Yes," because loving someone is helping them when they get into trouble, and looking after them, and telling them the truth, and Father looks after me when I get into trouble, like coming to the police station, and he looks after me by cooking meals for me, and he always tells me the truth, which means that he loves me." 

"And when the universe has finished exploding all the stars will slow down, like a ball that has been thrown into the air, and they will come to a halt and they will all begin to fall towards the centre of the universe again. And then there will be nothing to stop us seeing all the stars in the world because they will all be moving towards us, gradually faster and faster, and we will know that the world is going to end soon because when we look up into the sky at night there will be no darkness, just the blazing light of billions and billions of stars, all falling." 


"...and I wrote a book and that means I can do anything" 



Friday, August 28, 2009



There's no combination of words
I could put on the back of a postcard
No song that I could sing
But I can try for your heart
Our dreams, and they are made out of real things
Like a, shoebox of photographs
With sepiatone loving
Love is the answer,
At least for most of the questions in my heart
Like why are we here? And where do we go?
And how come it's so hard?
It's not always easy and
Sometimes life can be deceiving
And all of these moments
Just might find their way into my dreams tonight
But I know that they'll be gone
When the morning light sings
And brings new things
For tomorrow night you see
That they'll be gone too
Too many things I have to do
But if all of these dreams might find their way
Into my day to day scene
I'd be under the impression
I was somewhere in between
With only two
Just me and you
Not so many things we got to do
Or places we got to be
We'll Sit beneath the mango tree now
I believe in memories
They look so, so pretty when I sleep
Hey now, and when I wake up,
You look so pretty sleeping next to me
But there is not enough time,
And there is no, no song I could sing
And there is no, combination of words I could say
But I will still tell you one thing
We're better together.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

WHAT ABOUT TODAY??


i slept late so i woke up sooo lazy late. :) Im up at around 10am,. same routine.. i had opened my netbook and checked my email, facebook, friendster and blogger! haha!! i am enjoying reading other's blogs.:)

AND!! MARK IT DOWN FELLOWS! haha!! IM INTO READING,, yes you read it right!! :) I AM!!-----people close to me knew that i am not fond of reading books, not that i hate it or something,, well i just don't like it.. i tried it but it really made me feel bored. haha!! maybe not my interest,,. BUT!! i like T3 magazines and trivia books. oh not to mention, pugad baboy stuffs as well. :)] so where am I?? yes a book. and im enjoying every pages of it. it was really a beautifully written book based on the eyes of a boy who has ASPERGER'S SYNDROME ( a type of autism ---sometimes, i am. :)). by the way, here's the book.

Mark Haddon, "the author", impressed me and captured my innermost dormant admiration. it's subtle, it's simple, yet moving. i started reading it since yesterday, and maybe by tomorrow i am thru. :) hehe. AT LAST! applausing?? naaahh.. haha!! (oohh,, sounds like it was an achievement... whew).

then..

i got to be ready...hello reality. WORK WORK WORK!!!

I had my duty (pm shift). i'm the referral so i had less patients. oohhh baby amor's really cute and cuddly!!! and man,,,, he's very matakaw! haha!! cute little angel :). i assisted my patient to the heart station for he undergone 2D echo. afterwards, we got home to NICU (ni-kyu). around 5pm we had an admission - a 24th weeker baby,, she was really exremely premature. the residents and the admitting nurse tried and done their best to revive the patient, but she died. sayang, i didnt noticed the whole scenario because i am busy with my baby amor. anyways, after the megacode, a priest came in and did the rituals then her father, carried her baby girl,, oh man! and it did pinched my heart as i saw her dad crying and weeping. and to lessen his burden, i gave him tissue paper and a pillow. ( am i a big help for doing such? haha!). since I am a freshy for that, i am tasked to do the post mortem care. we cleaned the little angel's body, then we injected formalin onto her extremeties. my senior asked me to aspirate the solution out of the bottle. and ohh.. my fault!!!

i accidentally pricked my finger!

it turned me 360 and it made me sweat as corn! at first i am in denial but after few seconds, i uttered, "ma'am, i got pricked". i was really nervous because of the ff reasons: 1. formalin is a poisonous solution. 2. formalin is a preservative for the dead. 3. complications of formalin one's injected to the body. --- now i know the feeling of being preserved. haha! my senior furiously asked the ROD about it,, good thing,, there were mo serious complications, unless i got pricked after i had shot the dead body... waahhh!!



have you pictured out what a 24th weeker looks like?? see this:
she looks so delicate...rest in peace little girl...


SO WHAT ABOUT TOMORROW?? HMMM.. GOODNIGHT EVERYONE! :)

Sunday, August 9, 2009

IM MOVING ON...



I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons..finally content with a past..



I regret.


I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness, for once I'm at peace with myself. I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long. but now..



I'M MOVING ON...



At last, I can see life has been patiently waiting for me and I know there's no guarantees, but. i know,,,



I'M NOT ALONE.





there comes a time in everyone's life when all you can see are the years passing by and I have made up my mind that those days are gone..



I sold what I could... and packed what I couldn't...




I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't.



I had to lose everything to find out. Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

I wanna be close

-i heart this. :)

I wanna be everything your man's not
And I'm gonna give you
every little thing I've got
Cause you are more than a man needs
That's why I say you're truly my destiny
I'm gonna get you
If it takes me until forever
No you don't feel me
if forever turns into never
I'll let you know my love
is just that strong
And for you never just ain't that long


I wanna be the smile
you put on your face
I wanna be your hands
when you say your grace
I wanna be whatever
is your favorite place
I just wanna be close
I wanna be the hat you put on your head
I wanna be the sheets
you put on your bed
I wanna be the skirt
wrapped around your legs
Oh, I just wanna be close


And even if the day turns into night
I will love you by candlelight
And even if the water starts to run over
I'll be there to put you on my shoulder
And if it's hard for you to get to sleep
I will sing you a melody,
I wanna feel this way
Till the end of time, cause I pray one day
That you will be mine


I wanna be the smile
you put on your face
I wanna be your hands
when you say your grace
I wanna be whatever
is your favorite place, oh
I just wanna be close
I wanna be the hat you put on your head
I wanna be the sheets
you put on your bed
I wanna be the skirt
wrapped around your legs
I just wanna be close


See my life's filled with up and downs
I'm ok when you're around
And when I'm in a storm
and my nights are cold
Reach out your hands for me to hold
See you're my queen on a throne
and you're the reason
For a song and I can't wait
to fill you up with love
Fill you with love


I wanna be the sun,
your stars, your moon
I wanna be a hot summer day in June
I wanna be the smell
of your sweet perfume
I just wanna be close
I wanna be the seed
That bare your life brand new
I wanna be the one
that's so faithful and true
I wanna be the man down that aisle
in that suit, yes
I just wanna be close

ventricular fibrillation



the person next to me paints a smile in my heart :D, nerve cracking,cluster head ache ang inabot ko!! haha the most chaotic bloke i've ever encountered in my life!! but my heart beats and speaks.:D i just miss him.. soo much. cant help but reminisce those times we had. MMK moments, BOK na affected kame every commercial break haha lagi kame nagrereaact, FATED to LOVE YOU after, haha!! then tulog na. :D mga jokes nya na super corny pero sumasakit na panga ko sa kakatawa haha!! mga hirit na malupet haha miss ko na yon.. ung HOT SAUCE haha!!, WINDOW MEDIA PLAYER hahaha, magkaaway sila ng S kase hehe :D, ung pangungulit nya, ung mga "read between the lines" na messages, ung "JEJE" nya,, aawww. ung Goodmorning nya everymorning,, ung paawa effect minsan hehe,,ung gulo ng utak nya,, haha lahat sa kanya namimiss ko!!! haaaayyy.. I JUST MISS THE ENTIRE THING..heaven knows how much i miss gel..super..

Thursday, August 6, 2009

jumble ramble mumble

when its over, is it really over???
haha excerpt from sugar ray's song. i love it!! :) whenever i hear this song, cant help myself reminisce my life way back highschool. teens,, peers,, britney, puppy love, westlife collections ooow!! haha!!! well,, i bet dumaan din kayo sa mga gantong kakornihan. hehe
i can say that i had a memorable higschool days. im a licean,, and sa aming probensha ba hehe, eto na yung private/ catholic school na malapit samen na matinong school. (im not saying na hindi matino yung iba ha, personal wise) mamech, kuya budj kuya fel and ako,, lahat kame dito naghighschool. so i should protest dapat meron ako loyalty award haha!!! anyway,,
aminin man naten sa hinde,, for sure dumaan din kayo sa kilig moments. haha!! di ako mabilis maatract, so sa 4 years na pagstay ko don, 2 lang ang naging crush ko.. wahahha!! super as in, umiiyak pa ko pag 4am in the morning nung time na nalaman ko yung biggest revelation na yon. aaw not to mention. hehe.
medyo mahiyain ako haha pero sige isheshare ko na nga . for sure di naman nila siguro to mababasa,. ehehe. my first crush/love (shall i say?) ... si simon. gradeschool pa lang kame may hidden agenda na ko sa taong to wahahha since grade 5 to 2nd year college, eh type na type ko parin sya, khit na di na kame nagkikita nung college days.
thirdy. napakabait at napakagentleman neto. wala ako masabe. hehe. sya palagi partner sa prom. para syag going bulilit. pagnagjojoke sya source nya ay mga jokes from going bulilit. hehe. wala ako masabe na. i remember the boy, but i cant remember the feeling haha parang ganon!!:)
dumating ang college, all girls ako. medyo nagulat ako kase andami tibo. since gradeschool and highschool kase coed ako so medyo nanibago talaga ako. at first i found it parang abnoy kase naman babae tumitili, kinikilig sa kapwa babae!! "ANG GWAPO MO ______!!!) hahaha!! ganyan pa sinasabi nila! haha enjoy nman pala. ayos din, haha!! nung una di pa ko marunong makaidentify ng tibo sa hindi tibo ng butch sa lipstick ng blue sa pink. hahha! now i know.. hehhe :) actually, i can empathize. haha! gotcha! pero graduate na ko jan.. hehe.
keepng ny head straight goal intact na ko.:)
then.. i got a job.
2 years din ako nagwork as skills instructor somewhere there sa spain. i got to know a lot of people, madami ako nakilala. pero ang pinakahighlight was, when i met this guy. haaay,, super natamaan ako sa kanya. 6 months din un., pero its complicated. malabo, magulo.. ewan ba bat ganon. so tumigil. almost a month na rin kame without communication, and i miss him. i just miss the entire thing. subconsciously palagi ko pa rin sya naiisip. wala na rin ako balita sa knya. grabe alam nila mam may kung gano ako kasaya everyday bec of him. palagi ako nakangiti haha!! parang mi saltik lang ganon. khit na pagalitan ako ng manager namin, parang okay lang! masaya pa rin ako hahahA!! woooh. kakamiss naman. ung mga hirit nya, mga corny nya na jokes, mga kung ano anong lipad utak na naiisip nya, haha!! MMK every sat, palagi kame naguunahan kung ano title... BOK every night, favorite namen kase un panoorin hehe.. BDO sya METROBANK ako.. hahaha!! hay... kakamiss.. :(

TIME is my BEST BUD :)





wheew.. finally..

falling in love is like an ecstacy. on the other side of it, breaking up is really, really, REALLY an agony.

…Nobody said it was easy, (sabi nga ng coldplay) but life has to go on. (accdg to joe d mango hehehe:)] Moving on is really a hard thing to do! everyday is like waking up each day with misery. well, no one relishes nursing a broken heart back to health, to its normal state, but it’s something everyone who’s ever loved will have to do at some point. and you really have to do it. give yourself a favor. :)


just want to share few tips on how to mend a broken heart (haha aaww ayos ba?) mahirap talaga but you have to do it!!


The best way to spell LOVE is TIME. yes. TIME!! you need time. your self needs time. time to think, to reminisce, to look back,. time to entertain the painful reality that you’re no longer together, that everything has changed. uhmm… its like reality check

First of all, acknowledge that what you are going through is hard. When you’re in love, your body develops a chemical addiction to the other person, and the withdrawal is both painful and necessary. agree? hehe just give yourself permission to grieve. told you, it will really help. however, you must set a time frame. there’s a rainbow after a storm Make a serious effort to involve yourself in projects and activities, and immerse yourself in other people!! friends are so important. you need to have an outlet. Talk to your friends about the breakup, but talk to them about other things, too. Even if you don’t want to, forcing yourself to get out and concentrate on other things will get you on the right track to feeling like yourself again.

Learn to let go. you will never get over them if you let yourself daydream about getting back together. Delete them from your cell phone, and don’t even think about clicking on their account profile. It’s a good idea to get rid of everything that reminds you of them to help yourself realize that that phase in your life is over. Depending on the length and closeness of the relationship, some people find that moving helps them make a clean break and a new start. If that isn’t an option, rearrange the furniture, redecorate your walls - anything you can do to symbolize moving on will help you make the transition. It’s time to start a new era, with new memories and new possibilities.

Get it out!!! relationships leave trails of unresolved issues, questions and feelings their wake… unfinished business! But it isn’t always possible to talk to achieve closure with the other person, it’s important that you express what you think and feel - working through those questions is a big part of leaving them behind. Put them on paper. It doesn’t matter if it’s in a journal or a letter, but sometimes addressing your thoughts to your ex can help you achieve more cathartic value. After you’ve spent all of your anger, confusion or guilt, look at what you’ve written. If after you’ve exhausted your pen or keyboard you still feel like it’s something you still really need them to know, consider sending it. First, edit any accusations or sections that are too emotionally charged - you don’t want to send anything you’ll regret later - and make sure it reads as an honest letter that isn’t asking for a response. Once you’ve sent your thoughts, frustrations and explanations, you can feel certain that you’ve said what you needed to say and move on.friendship can wait afterall. it takes time. no calls. no sightings. no friendship for some time. you need at least three months or four with absolutely no contact before you can even think about starting a friendship, and it often takes much longer.

There’s no such thing as “staying friends.” You were not friends when you were dating, and if you were friends before, it ended the moment you became intimately involved. If you want to start a friendship now, realize that it will be an entirely new relationship that must be built from the ground up. You’ll share a different kind of bond, have different kinds of conversations and play different roles in each other’s lives. It may be true that once we love someone, we love them forever, but it cannot be in the same way if you hope to have an honest friendship and an honest chance at moving on.

Love your self. :)

I thought i couldnt make it. ”naisip ko pa magmonggha na lang haha!!! oh yes,,,, it would be a lot harder but you can do it! i just did and im happy :)